No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He felt like a one man threesome
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
