are you still at the devil's house?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
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Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
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I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize