Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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