He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
