Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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