a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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