She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
