You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
