the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
