I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
