somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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