Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
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Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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