Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
