Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
