I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
