my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
