Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
