Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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