Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize