I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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