Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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