my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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