And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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