i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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