Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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