Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
