whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
