can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
