Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
