You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize