Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
