So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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