We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
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You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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