I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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