Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
