yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
