You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He has the fingertips of a God
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize