Already got asked if we're dating
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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