READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
stop calling my apartment porn island.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
