"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Did you just see the Batmobile???
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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