I have demons in me.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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