Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
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she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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