piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
