No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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