Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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