Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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