I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
