let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
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I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
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All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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