the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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