Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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