hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
