My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
