They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
