i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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