I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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