no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
