I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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